Wishing I could freeze time~~

I wish I could just slow everything down. Our little girls are growing up too fast. Today as we sat on the couch all snuggled in a blanket watching "Dino Dan" together it dawned on me that I am their favorite person to be with. To them, Mommy and Daddy are everything (please realize Daddy hung the moon and when he is here, I am second). Some days like today make me think of the not so distant future, when other people in their life will begin to take our place. As I was holding my babies and smelling their hair, and kissing those sweet little faces, it dawned on me how truly lucky and blessed I am to have them !! Happy, healthy angels that just want to hang out with me and Daddy !

Maddie will start school soon and I cry almost daily when I realize how much I am going to miss her little face and her sweet voice. I am angry and resentful that I have to share her, she is mine. I am sure other Mom's have felt this way too and I know she is ready, I am not sure I will ever be.

How can let her out into this big mean world? Will I have given her all the knowledge and strength to be a good person and to trust the right people? When she was a baby this never really bothered me because I never, never let her out of my sight !! But now I worry. I worry. But, that is the job of the Mother. Wearing your heart outside of you body.....and trusting that you have taught them well.

My baby is reading !!

This is so crazy to me, Maddie is reading !! And to say I am excited is an understatement. Yes our 5 year old can do many things to help herself, but reading for some reason when I think about it makes me cry !! For me, it's something that will never be taken from her ! She now has the ability to learn ANYTHING she wants too !! She can now read signs and travel and read what she sees !! I am a little excited ! No one can ever tell her she is illiterate.

My Angels

Capturing these little moments in time...priceless.

Nicole Montero Photography

My amazing and talented Niece Nicole had a photo shoot at my parents ranch in Nevada. She is amazing, and really captured "us". I spent many days playing along the river bank as a child, and in my heart I am a country girl, so to see Maddison in her cowgirl boots down on the river was priceless ! Thanks again Nicole, next time Jason will be with us ! Here are some of my favorites !!

Thanksgiving 2010

So today is the official Thanksgiving, but due to Jason's (&%$#@ up schedule, we are having our dinner tomorrow and I am happy that he will get Sat. and Sun off. Considering he has been on 7 consecutive days of night shift and I think his last day off was about 17 days ago? Not sure on that, the days just run together and we miss him so much. I really never thought this was going to be so hard and so lonely....

It's midnight, I am so tired and yet I cannot sleep because I hate being alone. I miss our Families so much. We are missing out on so much and that makes me so sad.

I am thankful that 3 people called us today. I am thankful I have amazing, healthy baby girls to fill my days with laughter and fun. I am thankful I have a husband who loves us and provides for us through a ton of sacrifice. I am thankful I have the strongest most amazing Mother who is always there when I am down or up to offer her strength, wisdom and love. I am thankful that I have a huge family that I love very much. I am thankful that I am healthy. I am thankful for terrific friendships we have made along the way. I am thankful to have a warm home and food when I know so many people are struggling right now. I am thankful for so much.....

Has anyone seen my best friend? I sure miss him......

Maddison took this picture on my Birthday, and the Steelers were playing the Buc's, what a great day that was; A perfect Sunday.

It is moments like these that put everything we are going through in perspective. Moments where we get to just relax, breathe and just be. These moments are so few and only last for a short time anymore. I really miss my beer drinking, football watching buddy. We used to get so much time together. Time....is a luxury now.

We are on the downhill side of this huge roller coaster, only a short time of residency left to go. Did we make the right choice? Will it all be worth it in the end?

I firmly believe everything happens for a reason. However, it sometimes takes years to realize the reasoning.

Time, please slow down....

Time is precious-holding my daughter's small hand as we cross the street, reading books to my angels until my eyes are exhausted, snuggling with my baby in the rocking chair as she is drifting off to sleep, kissing her sweet little cheeks and praying she stays this small and amazing forever, coloring on the floor, tickling 4 little feet and hearing the laughter so pure, feeling how soft their skin is when I kiss their sweet faces goodnight, blowing raspberries on their bellies, watching Maddie teach Gabbie....these amazing moments I will cherish forever. I wish my little girls would stay small and protected forever and that time would just stop some days. It is just passing too fast.

Using her fork !

Happy 1st Birthday Angel Gabriella !!!

Thank you Daddy !

Gabbie pretending to be sad.

She has found the dog food.

I did it.....

Did what ? I took my 4 1/2 year old and her 9 month old baby sister on an airplane, from Virginia to Nevada all by myself !!! Despite some MAJOR airline delays, and some looks from strangers as to why I would do this, we did it. I love knowing I can handle most situations that are thrown my way. I am trying to teach Maddison through example to just roll with it and to not freak out when things don't go as planned. Some things are out of our control and I really try to make the best out of every situation. I think after living in the Caribbean for 2 years, I have figured out how little we need to survive !!

Jason had to work trauma night shifts, so the girls and I packed up and headed off to Grandma's house !! We had an amazing trip and got to see so many relatives. We missed Daddy, however we miss him all the time when we are here !!

(Side note: I also managed to pack our bags to go in an hour !! I had the wrong date in my head and at 7:00 at night when my Mom reminded me I was leaving at 6 am the next morning I had to hussle. Again, I did not panic, I just packed. It was a great help that all the clean laundry was folded nicely in the laundry baskets !!)

Dance Recital !!

Gabriella is 8 months old !!

Where has the 8 Months gone ?It feels like we just brought you home !! What a little angel you are !! You are always happy and you love to smile at everyone. You are such a little blessing of Peace, just looking at you melts our hearts. You are almost crawling, you can move from one side of the room to the other by rolling and scootching. You can do the splits and sit yourself up. You are still sleeping with us because we love to snuggle you !!! Daddy is worse than me. We love you so much little one !!

Very special Mother's Day

This Mother's Day was so special, I actually spent it with my Mother !! She flew out to spend the week with us and it was such a great visit. Maddison as you can see, would not leave her lap or her sight. She loves her Nae Nae so much. We planted our vegetable garden, visited the Botanical Gardens, went roller skating (Grandma watched). It was so great and the weather allowed us to do so much. Thanks again for flying all day out to see us, and staying in our noisy home and for loving us !!!!

When my Mom finally did get home after a very long trip with lots of delays she had a little surprise in her luggage. Maddison had painted a ceramic Care Bear and insisted that Grandma take it home with her. Grandma was afraid it would break and decided to leave it here. Maddison saw that Grandma put it back on the bookshelf and snuck it back into her suitcase the morning she flew home. It made it in one piece without being wrapped or packed and it was in the zippered front pocket of my Mom's suitcase !!!! The zipper was also only half closed. How it was not crushed !! It was meant for Nae Nae to have !!

Spring in Virginia May 2010

Spring is amazing in Virginia !! The green is everywhere and the blooming flowers are beautiful. We have really loved getting outside and spending these warm days with some great friends we have been so lucky to meet !!

I really have loved helping Maddison learn about flowers and what it means to be a good gardener. It makes me realize everything my parents taught me. I secretly think her Grandpa Ivan is looking over us and teaching her too. How I would have loved to see him teach my girls and spend time with them..... Grandparents are so special.